


Twenty Questions

by Medeafic



Series: Captain Spanky Series [3]
Category: Star Trek RPF
Genre: Blow Job, Discussions of violent consensual sex and sadism, M/M, Masturbation, Mild D/s
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-07
Updated: 2011-02-07
Packaged: 2017-10-15 11:41:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/160480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Medeafic/pseuds/Medeafic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chris figures himself out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Twenty Questions

Chris has not felt this excited and eager and so damn interested in learning since his college days, and as a result, has returned to type.  He is reading, researching, recording facts and thoughts.  The next time Zach comes over, there are books spread all over the coffee table.  _Being Homosexual_.  _10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do to Find Real Love_.  _The Ins and Outs of Gay Sex_.  _501 Great Things About Being Gay_.  Those are just the books on top. 

Zach picks up _Resolving Conflicts in Gay Relationships_ and waves it at Chris.  “I’d suggest that _not_ trying to punch someone is a good start,” he says pointedly.  “Hey – what the hell is this?”  He holds up _Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction_ with an alarmed glance at Chris.

“Don’t freak.  It came as a package deal with two other books.”

“As long as you’re not trying to tell me something.  So, you have ‘potentially gay’ covered.  What about–”

“On it,” Chris says, flicking his head towards the kitchen.  Zach is greeted by another mound of books all over the countertop.  _Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak Out_.  _The Bisexual Option_.  _The Bisexual's Guide to the Universe_.  “I also got tested for all known STDs and sundries.  I’m clean, and ready for some clinical trials.”  Chris turns on his high wattage grin, the one he's learned can set off a hundred paparazzi bulbs.

“Wow,” Zach says.  “You’re really serious about this, aren’t you?”

“Can’t form a thesis without background knowledge,” Chris states.  “And if you’ll look in the bedroom,” he continues with a suggestive smile.  “More research.  Amazon is fucking loving me right now.”

The nightstand is overflowing.  _SM 101: A Realistic Introduction_.  _Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns_.  _How to be Kinky: A Beginner’s Guide_. 

Zach picks up _Dominant!_ and reads the blurb on the back.  “I got that for you,” Chris says.  “I mean, so I could understand you better.”  Zach says nothing, but flicks through the index.  “So, what do you think?” Chris asks nervously.

“I think,” Zach replies slowly, “that you might be over thinking it, just a little.”

“But –”

“Don’t get me wrong, you do what you have to do to sort it out in your own mind.  But if you want to understand _me_ better, isn’t talking to me directly a better option?”

“Oh.”  Chris has not actually considered that.  “Well.  When you put it like that.”  He sits down on the bed, looking at the book pile.

“Ask me,” Zach offers, tossing _Dominant!_ back on the pile.  “Twenty Questions.  Go.  I promise I’ll answer every one.”

Chris feels like he’s been offered a conversation with God.  Too many questions crowd into his mind, but he has to get the important one out of the way first.  “Why do you prefer a cane to a riding crop?”

Zach laughs.  “Oh my God, Pine.  Really?  Alright.  A crop hurts less than a cane.”

“No way, dude.”

“Way, dude.  I also like that a cane leaves stripes.  I can make patterns.  Can’t do that with a riding crop, not as easily anyway.”

“How do _you_ know which one hurts more?” Chris asks sceptically.

“How do you think?  I tried it out on myself.  And that was question number two.”  Zach leans back against the wall, watching Chris with amusement.

Chris thinks.  “When did you lose your virginity?  And to a guy or girl?”

“That’s two questions.  I was seventeen.  Girl.  My only one, before you waste another question.  The next week, I’m ashamed to say, I got a blow job from her brother.  You have sixteen questions left.”

“Don’t you want to ask me anything?”

“Not right now.  Fifteen.”

Chris laughs, enjoying the game.  He thinks carefully.  “What is it about pain that you like?”

Zach considers the question.  “When I was young, I thought I was sick because of the fantasies I had, the things I wanted to do to other people.  I thought I was a psychopath.  I was so afraid I was going to turn out to be, I don’t know, Ted Bundy or a CIA torturer.  And I couldn’t talk to anyone about it.  Especially not – well, you know, strong Catholic background.  I hated myself for a long time.”  Chris feels a terrible wrench in his gut.  This is bigger than he had even thought about.  So much for books.  This is real.

“I started reading a lot about psychotherapy, to try to fix myself.  I thought I was broken twice over, being gay _and_ a sadist,” Zach is saying.  “Some books made me feel better.  Some of them made me feel worse.  But when I read Carl Jung, I started to understand.  About the shadow self, and how important it is to integrate that.  You know?”

Chris nods.  He has stuck on the word ‘sadist’, though.  How easily Zach can describe himself that way, as though the word itself were neutral.

“I got older, and kinder to myself.  Started experimenting.  I found out really quickly that being submissive or hurt is _not_ my thing.”  He scrunches his nose.  “Might as well throw a bucket of ice water on me.  But being in control of someone, making them ask for things, and being able to make them hurt and make them feel _good_ about hurting – mm.”  And Chris notices that he is unconsciously shifting in his jeans, rearranging himself.  “I like that I can make the pain bearable,” Zach says.  “That’s what I like about it the most.  You find out a lot about someone when they hurt.”

Chris thinks about that younger Zach and how he must have struggled to become as confident, as comfortable in his skin and his sexuality as he is today.  Zach grappled with the worst of himself, refused to let it overcome him or scare him.  _How much courage_ , Chris wonders, _did that take?  More than I have_.  Chris feels envious, humbled.  Hot.

“Can I kiss you?”

“That was grammatically incorrect.”  Zach is smirking.  “It still counts as a question, but I’m not going to answer it.”

Zach and his damn rules.  “ _May_ I kiss you?” Chris asks again. 

Zach inclines his head.  “You may.”  He doesn’t move, so Chris is forced to, sliding off the bed and nervously approaching.  Zach keeps his arms loosely crossed, which isn’t helping, but Chris is determined.  He slides his hands to cup Zach’s face, feeling the roughness of his unshaven skin.  The hairs prickle against his palms and set his nerves on fire.  _I want to remember this_ , he thinks, before closing the gap slowly and settling his lips over Zach’s.  Zach tastes faintly of tahini, but mostly of male, which Chris discovers he likes.  Emboldened, he runs his hands down Zach’s chest, but Zach quickly stops him, grasping his wrists firmly.

“You may _kiss_ me,” he says against Chris’s mouth.  “That was the deal.”

“Mmm,” Chris protests.

“You still have thirteen questions left,” Zach prompts.

“You’re still keeping track?”

“Yes.  Twelve.”

“Goddamn it!  Okay.  May I touch you?”  He kisses next to Zach’s mouth to punctuate the question.

“Nope,” Zach smiles. “Eleven.

“That’s not fair!” Chris gasps, but Zach is laughing now.

“Poor Christopher,” he teases.  “You’re in such a hurry.”  Zach pushes him back.  “Sit back down on the bed.  You have to earn something like that, boy.”  _Oh, God_ , Chris thinks.  _More than happy to earn it_. 

But he wants to test Zach’s resolve.  He rearranges the bed pillows, sits back up against the head rest of the bed.  Crosses his ankles and folds his hands, the very picture of relaxation.  “What is it about me that turns you on the most, Zachary?” he asks, grinning.  He is pleased to see that Zach is drawn towards him, sitting on the side of the bed.

“Not to go all Sylar on you, but your brain is a big part of it,” Zach admits.  “And your arms.  And your ass, of course.”

“Of course.”  Chris grins. 

“I think a lot about that night in Tokyo.  Watching your ass turn bright red under my hand.”

Chris flushes.  “Me too,” he admits.  “And the other time.  Speaking of which, why don’t you let anyone watch you come?”

“Sometimes, not often, I let them watch me come if I’m inside them.  I don’t let anyone watch me jerk off because…” Zach falls quiet.  “It’s a control thing,” he says finally.  “A power thing.”

Chris understands, although he thinks Zach is underestimating just how powerful he looks with his own cock in hand.  “Do you always like to have some element of that – power thing going on?”

“Yes.  But it doesn’t have to be full on all the time.  I mean, it could be as simple as holding you down.”  Chris notes the pronoun.  His dick is rapidly becoming rigid, a little too obvious in the sweatpants he’s wearing.  “It could be as simple as telling you what to do.  As simple as telling you to keep your hands behind your head and not move them until I say.”  Zach is smiling softly at him.  His eyes are glittering like two black suns.  _Shining just for me_ , Chris thinks.  “Is that – are you okay with that?” Zach asks.

Chris clears his throat.  “I think that was your first official question to me.”

“I believe so.”

“I’m more than okay with it.”

“Good.”

“How many questions do I have left?”

“Counting that one, you have five left.”

“Fuck!” Chris says.  “Okay.  If you’re sure.”

“I am sure.”

Chris thinks.  “How rough do you get?”

Zach makes a face, but quickly smoothes it over.  “I want to answer you, Christopher, but I don’t want to scare you.”

“I don’t scare easy.  Promise.”

“Move over.”  Chris obliges so that Zach can kick off his shoes and sit next to him.  Zach takes his hand, lacing their fingers together, and twists it to look at Chris’s knuckles.  They are still bruised from their brief encounter with Zach’s bedroom wall.  “I have engaged in play that would technically be called aggravated assault,” he says slowly.  “If there weren’t consent from the other party.  I have never hospitalized anyone.  And I have learned to provide superlative after-care.”

“That’s…kind of a broad spectrum there, buddy,” Chris points out.  He likes the feeling of Zach’s hand over his own.

“No closed fists to the lower back or face,” Zach offers.  “And I like to bite.”

“Do you –” Chris pauses, rephrasing a question to a statement.  “From my research, I have discovered that some dominant types enjoy choking.”

Zach laughs.  “I’ll let you get away with that one,” he says.  “Yes, I like it, I fantasize about it, but I don’t do it.  Too dangerous.  As you found out yourself when we were shooting.”

Chris frowns.  Zach had been very careful in pretending to choke him during the fight scene, but once, accidentally, closed his fingers just a little too hard over the wrong spot and Chris had almost passed out.  He remembers how angry Zach had been, at himself.  How apologetic.  “You must have a lot of self control.”

“If I don’t wanna kill anyone, then I fucking have to,” Zach agrees.

“It’s – it’s dangerous,” Chris realizes.

“Yeah,” Zach says quietly.  He raises their combined fists and kisses each of Chris’s knuckles.  “You don’t have to –”

“It’s not that,” Chris says quickly.  “I’m just starting to think about the practicalities.”

“Don’t think too much,” Zach warns.  “You need time to take it in.  Ask me something different now.  We can talk more about the other stuff later.”

Chris has a question he is dying to ask, but he's terrified of the response.  He thinks about younger Zach, who faced his fears.  If Zach has that kind of bravery, the least Chris can do is try.  “I have been wondering.  About.  Us.”

Zach nods.  “Go on.”

“I don’t want to push anything.  But.”

“I’m not hearing a question, Pine.”

Chris sighs.  “Do you think we could ever work?  Together, I mean.  As a thing.”

Zach closes his eyes, opens them again and looks at Chris.  “At the moment, I don’t know.  You are – and don’t get defensive – you’re new and confused and I think part of this whole thing might be the excitement of it.  But on the other hand,” and he slides his free hand up Chris’s thigh, brushing his dick, which is hard.  “On the other hand, it’s hard to fake that.”  He squeezes; Chris groans.  “So right now, my response is ‘possibly maybe’.”

Zach grasps Chris by the shoulders and moves him down the bed, so they’re both lying flat.  He turns and hooks an arm around Chris’s chest, a knee over his two legs, so he’s lightly held down.  Their faces are inches away.  Chris turns so that they can look properly at each other.

“May I kiss you again?” Chris asks.

“No,” Zach tells him.  “This time I’m going to kiss you.  Put your hands behind your head, under the pillow.  And don’t move them without permission.”

Chris has no argument.  He does as he’s asked, and it feels like he’s relaxing on a beach.  Zach rolls on to him, and he’s warm like sunshine.  His crotch is rubbing into Chris’s and it feels _so good_.  Zach runs his tongue over Chris’s mouth, and inside when his lips part involuntarily.  “Mmmmm,” Chris says.

“Mm-hmm,” Zach agrees.

“Can I –” Chris starts, but Zach cuts him off by sliding two fingers into his mouth to suck.

“Careful.  You only have three questions left.  And I should point out, in the interest of fair play, that I won’t allow you to come without permission.”

“Oh my God,” Chris tries to say around Zach’s fingers.  If he’d known the possibility was on the table, he would have – “Oh, fuck.”  Zach has withdrawn his fingers and is biting him, so gently, where his neck curves into his clavicle.

“Last time,” Zach breathes into his ear, “you wanted to help clean up.  Do you still want that?”  Chris nods energetically.

They stop talking for some time, except for when Zach whispers “Get naked.  Now.”  Chris has lost all reservations and is increasingly desperate to touch Zach.  Zach, who is up and down his body with mouth, tongue and teeth, biting little nips experimentally and biting again, harder, in the areas that make Chris gasp or moan.  Tomorrow, Chris knows, he will look like he has a mild case of measles, and he _can’t wait_.

When he feels a rough tongue lapping over the sensitive head of his cock, Chris can’t help it; his hands shoot down to tangle in Zach’s hair.  Inexorably, Zach forces them back behind the pillow.  He tweaks Chris’s nose and smiles.  “You need to learn to obey,” he says.  “To please me.”  He smiles wider at Chris’s strangled noises.  “If you do that again, you won’t get to touch _or_ taste.”

Chris grabs his own wrists as hard as he can, because fuck if he’s not getting his reward today.  Zach returns mouth to dick and slowly, too slowly, sucks it down, tongue flicking around the head, until Chris has to fight not to shove himself all the way in.  But it’s worth it, because Zach swallows him right down and does things to him.  Chris has never felt anything so good before, and it’s almost too much.

It’s almost too much.

“Wait!” he pants, remembering.  “You’re gonna – I’m gonna – please can I –”

Zach lets Chris’s cock slide wetly out of his mouth to slap back on his stomach.  “Good boy,” he says approvingly.  “I really thought you’d forget.”  He drags himself back up the bed to suck Chris’s tongue.  Chris feels his dick ache, jealous.  “Your turn, now,” Zach says, pushing him down.

Chris is so eager but so unsure.  Zach, damn him, has shifted his torso to lean up against the bed head, allowing a clear view of the action.  Chris glances up, uncertain.  “Will you tell me if I’m doing it wrong?”

“Yes, but you won’t.  And you only have two questions left now.  Go ahead,” Zach says, touching his face.  “I’ve been waiting far too long to see those lips of yours working up and down my cock.” 

Chris flushes warmly and gets to work.  He starts gently, like Zach did, but Zach isn’t having it, grasping Chris by the back of his neck and forcing himself in.  Chris tightens his throat reflexively, and hears Zach groan.  “Fuck, yes.  Choke on it.”  The words almost make Chris come himself.  He does his best.  He knows it’s not a great blow job, but practice makes perfect, and after several minutes he’s at least conquered his gag reflex.  Remembering their last encounter, Chris experiments with teeth, very gently.  He hears Zach hiss, and stops.

“No, just like that, boy,” Zach says.  “Keep going.  But no harder than that with your teeth.”

Chris obliges, careful to remove teeth from the equation once he feels his jaw stiffen.  He lifts his head to check whether Zach is close, but Zach just yanks his hair and re-feeds his cock into Chris’s tired mouth.  A minute later, Zach says calmly, “I’m going to come down your throat, Christopher.  Right…now.”  Only on the last word does he lose any of his composure.

Chris does his best to swallow, squeezing his eyes shut with the effort.  Zach has forced himself so far down that Chris can barely breathe.  But in the next second Zach has relaxed, gasping, and Chris pulls back.  He coughs, catches his breath.  Zach’s come has dribbled out from the corners of his mouth, some of it pooling back on his skin. 

Zach tugs his hair again.  “Clean,” he commands briefly.  Chris laps it up, gently, knowing how sensitive his own dick is after coming.  He’s slightly surprised to find that he doesn’t dislike the taste.  The only other come he’s tasted has been his own.  Zach’s is similar.  Familiar.  “You are such a good boy,” Zach says, chuckling.  He has flung an arm over his face.

Chris is filled with pride and makes his way back up to lie next to his lover.  “Was it good?” he asks eagerly.

“Yes.  Amazing.  Qualitatively superb.  And since you only have one question left,” he says, tucking his arm under Chris’s neck, “we’d better sort you out.  You can touch me this time if you like,” he adds, rubbing his palm roughly over Chris’s rock hard dick.  He slicks his hand over his own cock, still wet from Chris’s mouth, to lubricate. 

They both watch Zach’s hand, twisting and adjusting to Chris’s noises, stroking carefully to heighten the sensation.  Chris wants to touch him but is quickly reduced to clenching his hands tightly, one on Zach’s shoulder and one on his forearm.  Zach shrugs him into position so he can still watch what he’s doing.  He flicks his thumb encouragingly over the slit. 

Chris kisses him deeply and wants to tell him how brave he thinks he is.  His mind goes blank all too quickly, though, and the only thing he can say is, “Please – I’m going to come.”

“ _Ask_ ,” Zach corrects.

“May I come?”  Chris forces the words through clenched teeth.

“Zero left,” Zach tells him.  “And yes.  I give you permission to come all over my hand.”

So Chris does.

Zach lifts his hand to his mouth to suck off the splashes, while Chris laughs and smiles.  “Wow,” he says finally.

“Pretty much.”

“You’re my hero,” Chris says.

“Shut up,” Zach laughs, and kisses him.

“No, really,” Chris says.  “I wish I had your courage.  You owned your sexuality, when it could have become something twisted inside of you.  Refined the gold from the dross."

"Dross, huh?  That's a good word."

"I’m – I’m jealous.  I wish I were as open as that.”

Zach contemplates his face.  “You are,” he says.  “Few people would even consider testing themselves like you have over the last few months.  In fact, it would probably be a lot better for your career if you hadn’t.  But you did.”  Zach kisses him again, for a long time.  “I’m so glad you did,” he says.

“Actually, I think I’ve worked it out,” Chris tells him.  “I’m a Zachsexual.”

Zach bites him.  “You are so dumb,” he says affectionately.

“I mean it,” Chris insists.  He laughs and then sighs contentedly.  “Zachsexual is enough for now, anyway."


End file.
